Chapter 3
Sometimes when I get lonely, I will turn to my memories to help. Often I will think of him and miss him greatly. He meant the world to me. I knew I had a hard time expressing my feelings sometimes. I hope I got acress how much I loved him before it was too late. Now that he is gone, I really don't know.
From the first time I admitted how attractive he was to me till now, I find my mind wanders towards him. I will remember so much. The happiness in our time together. It reminds me of one such evening we spend together. We had went over to the West Fenia garden and just walked and chatted. We sat down on a bench and were so glad to be there together.
He must have had the biggest smile. "I feel like a young boy in a candy store that can get anything they want without having to pay anything," he told me. My heart nearly skipped a beat. That was when I noticed the one look. One thing I've noticed is guys get that I want to kiss you look. Being able to freeze time now, I can see it all coming, but then it took me by surprise.
Slowly, he leaned in next to me and held me tight. I could feel the drums beating in his chest. They were matching the band in mine. His nervousness was very apparent to me. To feel his body next time mine was a treat I was very pleased to have a taste of. Our bodies being close feeling how much he cared with his passionate embrace. This was a moment I know would be burned into my mind for years to come. How many times did I wish I could be back in those arms? How many days did I miss his embrace?
It's amazing how a single moment in time can be isolated and put into feelings. So many ideas and concepts flood my mind when I think of him holding me. I wish he was here to hold me now, to comfort me. Yet as he had told me many times, I would laways have him. He is in my hear and in my memories. How can one dead be there?
His breath -- I could still feel it against my neck. His warmth against my body. I was in his arms. We were where we belonged. At this moment, there were no doubts, no questions. All there was was a pure knowledge of how much he loved me. Over the months to come, he would occasionally surprise me with how much he cared for me. After all, I never considered myself all that special. Why should he? But he always did.
Gently, his arms left my back and we began to part. His eyes stared into mine. his intentions were clear. He leaned in and gently placed a kiss on my lips. A second of time had just changed a lot. One simple kiss, that's all right? If you believe that a kiss from one who you care about is simple, then you don't really feel the true meaning of a kiss. A kiss is like fireworks on a holiday. A kiss is like a shooting star in the night sky.
He was going to lean away from me, but he stopped. He had read my mind. he knew what I wanted. It's the same thing I wanted so much right now. He took me into his arms and tenderly kissed me again. His lips pressed against mine in a sweet embrace. Slowly, I parted my lips. Passionately, we kissed expressing out deep affection. Lost in this moment, time had no meaning. This was something I wanted so bad -- to be loved for who I am and to love him for who he was.
So many feelings passed through my mind and lips. No words I could attempt to think could ever express the feelings behind love's kiss. Even the word love fails to explain so clearly and so bluntly the emotions behind a kiss. Feeling the lips of the one you love against yours is uncomparable to something that can be described in words. What word can adequately explain that?
Our lips leaned away and he was staring at me adoringly. "He loves me," my heart pounded to me. "I love you," he whispered to me. Those words, that moment, it was something that brought me such joy that the word "joy" itself fails to explain. There is a level of existance where words are useless. It was there where we were at.
"I love you too," I whispered back. It was there where we first expressed in words how we felt. It was there that everything had started. My boyfriend, my love, and the one I held so dear to me had just started the creation of many blissful memories to which I still look upon today with a smile in my heart and tears on my cheeks.
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