Chapter 4
Today was a wonderful day. I have started my journey to learn more about who I am. I have been lucky enough to find my love. How often can one be lucky enough to find the one who can assist you with getting reacquainted with oneself? How often can one be lucky enough to find someone who knows you better than most people do and for the time being better than I know myself.
She has helped me to learn a little more about myself. This afternoon I got a chance to take a walk with her down memory lane. It was nice to slowly recall some of the things that had happened to me in the past. It was nice to know that I was so well loved and that I am still so loved. After all, I couldn't expect her to have kept those feelings for me after she thought I was gone, but she did. Why? Did she know I was going to return?
In my heart, I know who I truly am. I know I am Robert, the love of April. I know that when all things are said and done I belong to her. She is the one who knows how to lift my spirits when I need it. She's the one who looks out for me just as I look out for her. Just today, she was trying to look out for me and make sure I kept nice and warm.
Today, we got to spend time talking about the past. We got to spend time reminding me of my memories. Slowly they begin to trickle back. She has the key to them. She knows how to get the spiderweb of memories to start to come together again. Some of the memories that are coming back to me though I must admit I wish I could forget.
Did I need to remember what has happened in my sight in the past? Did I need to remember who my father was? I guess I am just destined to move along a different path than my father. He lost sight of how to treat a lady. Something I hope I never do. Somehow, I don't think I ever will. If I doubt myself, she is there to remind me of how special I am.
Do I have all of my memories back yet? No, I don't, but I am confident that through time I will slowly gain back most of my memories. What I have retrived from the dusty archives are tons of memories between me and her. I've come to one conclusion in all of this. She is the one who resides in my memories and my present. It's not every day that a man is lucky enough to have someone that special in their life.
Some men are of good fortune to experience that in life in general, but they lost it. Some how, some way, I've kept it. She loves me because of who I am and sometimes in spite of me. How many memories do I have of stupid things I've said or done? But it seems like she's forgotten most of them which is good for me. When I look back, I don't seem to remember anything she's done stupid. So, maybe it's all fair in the end.
I look forward to the days in the future when me and her can add to the memories of the past. I have a strong feeling that we'll be sharing much time together. After all, I love her very much. I think she knows it very well. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. I'm sure I've told her that several times and something tells me she knows it anyway. I don't have to even state it. Sometimes that's the ways things can be. I know I don't have to tell her that I love her, because she already knows it. Does that mean I don't tell her that? What do you think?
Just like sometimes she didn't tell me certain things, but I knew she felt them. Some days it was just more difficult to say certain things. It wasn't cause she didn't feel them. I rarely thought to even doubt her feelings. Most of the doubts I had were about myself. After all, she treated me very well. She had always offered me a roof over my head. She had always offered to be my shelter in times of need.
She had been there for me through laughter and tears. We had seen good days and bad days together. I knew so much about her and she knew so much about me. We were a couple. We are a couple. It's something so nice to realize that you are a part of. It's nice to think that I am part of something special. It's nice to know that I am special in someone's world.
We had done so much together over time. We shared many dreams and visions of the future. We had shared what we wanted to do together. Hope and vision are two gifts we've given ourselves over time. Also, with those, we've started our own traditions that help bring a smile to our faces.
I remember a nightly tradition that I did for quite a bit of time. Tonight is the first night I get to do it once again. Every night before I go to sleep, I give my ring a kiss. Then, I whisper into the air these words:
May your sleep be well my beloved. May your dreams be good. I love you very dearly and look forward to being near you again soon.
I slowly laid down to sleep. Pulling the covers over my body, I closed my eyes. Drifting off to sleep, my heart was warm and my thoughts were pleasant. My dreams quickly came and I was asleep. A smile stretched across my face for I was truly safe once again. I was no longer just a memory. I existed once again.
[ Chapter 3 ] [ Maute Nuela, Part I, Chapter 1 ]
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